Where we're supposed to be

Over the holidays Brian and I were talking to a family member about his (Brian's) schooling. Family member asked Brian how many semesters he had left. He said probably no more than three. The family member expressed excitement for us and turned to me and said "Then you will be where you are supposed to be."

This comment really bothered me and at first I couldn't figure out why.

Then I got to thinking. It is no secret that some members of our family wanted Brian and I to wait and get married. They thought his education should come first. If we had waited, say 2 or 3 more years for Brian to finish school before we got married I wouldn't have had to work the first 8 or 9 years of our marriage, we would probably be on child #5 (or more) instead of child #3, We'd probably have a house and a new car and never would have gone through the struggles we have gone through since we've been married.

Sounds perfect, right?

I don't really think so.

Brian and I decided that marriage should come first and everything else would fall into place. We got married, much to some people's dismay, in the middle of a semester. Brian was interning at Honeywell and I was working at a warehouse 3:30 pm to 2 am, and to "save money" we were living with his parents. The first year of our marriage was difficult to say the least. But we made it. We moved out after that first year, then Brian had to quit school after his perfect internship was cut short so that he could work.

Then we bought a house only to lose it two years later after I got multiple pay cuts. Then Brian lost his job.

I felt like every one was thinking to themselves "We told you that you should have waited!"

But then the blessings started pouring down upon us. After almost 8 years of marriage  trying to get back in school, he finally got the opportunity to do so. Because of this I can see the end of my working days. I would not change what we've been through for ONE second. I've compiled a list of 8 things that I have learned from the struggles we've shared in our (almost) 9 years of marriage.

1. I've learned to enjoy every moment with my children. I miss them terribly while I work and I try to spend as much time as possible with them when I get home.
2. I have learned that Brian and I have amazing families. They will never let us go homeless or hungry. Family members have helped us with hospital bills and gas money and made sure that our needs were fulfilled. Words cannot express my gratitude for them.
3. I have learned to humble myself and ask for help when I need it. To allow others to serve me. That was a hard lesson!
4. I have learned that amazing blessings come from paying tithing
5. I have learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart. He doesn't give us trials we can't handle. I remember feeling so sick when I found out we were losing our house. I remember thinking to myself that this was the worse thing to ever happen to me. But now, looking back and seeing where that led us, I am so grateful. The Lord sees the big picture.
6. I have gained a HUGE respect for my brothers who have helped me with car problems again, and again, and again. And again. Have I mentioned that I have an amazing family?
7. I have learned what it means to serve people. I have had two amazing examples of service: My Mother should be a saint, well, if Mormons believed in saints! She gives and gives and gives with no expectations. Since it's just me working, we don't have a lot of money, she has helped us numerous times. She lends me her car so I can go to school and further my education. She has endless patience with my 4 year old.  She is an amazing caregiver for all three of my children. I love her and someday hope to be just as generous and loving as she is. My older sister is the same. I don't know how many times I've whined to her about being poor or whatever, she is just like my mom and is incredibly generous and wonderful with my children. I could never have made it through these trial without these two women in my life.
8. Last but not least, I've learned how important communication is in a relationship. Brian and I have been through so much and it has been hard but it has also been worth it. I remember how much stress we were under when we were losing our house, and when he lost his job. It was hard for both of us but I know that everything we've gone through has brought us closer and strengthened our relationship.

So in about a year and a half when Brian graduates and I am a stay at home mom will I be thinking to myself "I'm finally where I'm supposed to be after all of this time"?

Nope. Because I have no doubt that I am where I'm supposed to be now.