Tickers and more

Let me draw your attention to the tickers I just added/fixed up on my blog.
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Look at Hayden's ticker...

No, that is not a mistake...

Yes, my 3 year old is still nursing. I can honestly say I'm proud of how long he's nursed. In the past I was afraid of people knowing that I'm still nursing but after a lot of thought I decided that I'm just going to put it out there. My family knows I still nurse Hayden. How could they not...every evening when Brian and I ask Hayden who he wants to put him to bed he says very clearly "Mommy, I want to nurse." Brian's not exactly equipped with breasts or breast milk, so that leaves me!

In the beginning of mine and Hayden's nursing relationship, Brian and I discussed how long a child should nurse. With Brian's encouragement, I decided that I was going to let Hayden be the one to decide when to stop nursing. So that meant *gasp* that I would nurse a toddler!! In the beginning the main reason I nursed was to save money. There are also some genetic diseases that run on both Brian's side of the family and mine that breastfeeding protects against, like diabetes (Brian's side) and asthma/allergies (my side). It also protects me from certain cancers. Like breast cancer which also seems to run on my side of the family.

As Hayden and I got the hang of nursing I found another reason to continue...I actually ENJOYED nursing!! *gasp again* I loved the bond that we had. As a little baby he would stare into my eyes as he nursed and sigh contentedly. As an older baby/toddler he'd play as he nursed, silly games, like he'd stick his hand near my face and I'd pretend to eat it and he'd giggle like crazy, eat a little and then do it all over again. He made up songs for nursing, before he started really talking he called nursing "dis" and one day he started singing "ah ah ah diiiiis!" over and over. 

Another reason I have continued to nurse is because it seems to be one unchanging thing in Hayden's ever changing life. He's grown up so fast in the last year, has started talking so much and become so independent. I think sometimes all of this overwhelms him and he just wants to be a baby with his momma again. Every time we've moved (2 times in the 3 years he's been alive!) he's always nursed more. He nurses more every time there's been a big change in his life (becoming a big brother, when I went back to work and Daddy went back to school). I think having this time to be with momma helps him cope with change.

Some of you may wonder how I nursed through my pregnancy (Don't Dr.'s discourage that?) and what it's like nursing a preschooler and a baby. Well I will tell you. Nursing through pregnancy was fine. There's a book out there called Adventures In Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower that I read long before I was pregnant. Basically there is no harm done to the developing baby by nursing through a pregnancy. You just need to really make sure you take care of yourself. And I did. You better believe I ate enough food for me, the growing baby and the growing toddler!!

When we moved in with my parents, Hayden cut way back on nursing. He had just turned two. He nursed before bed, once at night and usually once in the morning when he woke up. Sometime after my miscarriage and before I got pregnant again, he quit waking up at night to nurse. Now he only nurses once a day. Before bed. His bedtime is around 7pm and that's normally when Quinn takes her last catnap before we go to bed for the night. I give Brian the baby, and lay with Hayden while he nurses himself to sleep. Pretty easy. He has never gotten jealous that Quinn nurses more than him. He's never wanted to nurse at the same time as her (Thank goodness! My lap isn't nearly big enough for a baby and a big kid!). When I was on maternity leave he did ask to nurse more, but most times I just couldn't do it. I was constantly in the middle of something. I felt bad, but he was OK with it. I normally distracted him with something special, like candy or a movie or something fun. :)

You may wonder since I'm giving him the chance to decide when to wean, when is he going to? Will he EVER stop? Maybe I outta encourage him to stop? Believe me, those are questions I've asked. My answers are I don't know, probably and nah. As it is, he doesn't nurse every single night. There are nights that he'd rather have Brian put him to bed. They watch TV, Brian tells him stories, or reads him books and then Hayden will snuggle up next to him and drift off to sleep. I've gone several weeks without nursing Hayden at all...I start wondering if that aspect of our relationship is over, and then the next night he wants me to put him to bed. Another thing that tells me that he will quit is that his latch is getting bad...its almost like he's forgetting HOW to nurse. I don't even know if he even gets any milk out nowadays. All of this has happened without me encouraging it. My approach on this has been don't offer, don't refuse. I never ask him if he wants to nurse, but if he asks I don't tell him no, unless I'm in the middle of something and in that case I distract him with something else. But most times the only time he asks is when we are putting him to bed.

As I finish up this post, it has been over a week since Hayden last nursed. I get the feeling this is it. He is such a big boy now, he doesn't need his Mommy and Daddy to lay with him until he falls asleep. We put him in his room, stay with him a few minutes and then tell him to go "beep" (Haydenese for sleep) and we will come check on him later. If this is the end of our nursing relationship then I can say that I am truly grateful for the bond that we are able to share and that I look forward to bonding in new ways. If this isn't the end then I will continue doing as I have been.